Rules
Lest you think this is some front for a bunch of guys who just don’t want to shave, our Ethics Committee has come up with Mustache Growing Rules.
- 11/12/2009 is Clean Shaven Day. Participants will shave their faces clean of any and all facial hair. This includes, but is not limited to: mustaches, beards, goatees, muttonchops, chinstraps, soul patches, sideburns that extend below the top of the earlobe, and Van Dykes.
- For the duration of four weeks sweet Mustaches will be grown for the world to behold. During that time, there will be weekly Mustache Checkpoint Days at a local watering hole. All involved will shave their mugs on Checkpoint Days, save for the area above their upper lips. No fair growing a full beard or goatee for a month, and then shaving down to just the Mustache. The Mustache must only stretch from one corner of your mouth to the other corner.
- No Hitler Mustaches are allowed. Also, no John Waters Mustaches. We’re aiming for Burt Reynolds style ’staches here.
- The use of growth hormones and coloring agents is not condoned or sanctioned by Mustaches for Kids. We feel that these Mustache Growing Performance Enhancers violate the spirit of the contest.
- Though the Mustache Checkpoints are not mandatory - Mustaches for Kids believes in the Honor System - they are a great opportunity to encourage your Mustache brothers-in-arms during the growing season. Mustaches for Kids representatives will be available at all Checkpoints to address any Mustache questions or concerns. And we will drink beer.
- With such burgeoning Mustaches firmly in place, fundraising should be a walk in the park. The minimum Pledge Goal for each Grower should be $50 for the Donors Choose Organization, but in no way should anyone be discouraged from participating in the contest because he doesn’t think he can make the Pledge Goal - $5 or $500, it goes to a good cause. Please be aware of and obey all local laws when soliciting donations.
- While Mustaches for Kids does not endorse trash-talking or making disparaging comments of any kind about another Grower’s Mustache, there are a number of unsubstantiated medical theories that Mustache Abuse stimulates follicle growth.
- When all is said and done, a Mustache Competition will be held tentatively on 12/11/09, where a panel of judges will select the Sweetest ‘Stache, using a complicated and very scientific set of criteria. Mustaches will be judged solely on these standards; race, creed, nationality, sexual orientation, and popularity will not be taken into consideration. As in past years, booing will not be tolerated, especially by rival competitors; this is for charity, after all. Much like the Mustache Checkpoints, the final judging should foster a party-like atmosphere to celebrate the fruits of everyone’s Mustache labors. And we will drink beer.
- While the Growing Season will end after five weeks, there is no deadline for fundraising. For the 2009 Growing Season, we will be raising money for public school projects listed on DonorsChoose.org. Teachers post worthwhile - and otherwise unfunded - project proposals on the DonorsChoose.org website, and donors are then able to pick specific projects they like to fund. It’s an innovative way to give, and it gives donors a direct connection to the recipients of their generosity. Being students and products of public education, it is crucial for us to support education and have a good time doing it.
- Finally, while merchandising is encouraged, please do not violate any local, state, or national statutes. For example, sales tax regulations may apply. And all profits must be donated as well.
- Good luck and good growing.
FAQ
What? You’re confused? “Mustaches? For kids?”
Yes. Mustaches for Kids. We admit that it’s a somewhat unusual concept, so we’ve collected some answers to the questions we get:
Q. Is this a joke?
A. No. Since its inception in 1999, hundreds of Growers have joined Mustaches for Kids, and have raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for the Make-A-Wish Foundation, an organization that grants the wishes of children with terminal illnesses.
Q. I’m a woman. Can I join?
A. Mustaches for Kids does not discriminate against anyone on the basis of sex, age, nationality, or anything else you can think of. Anyone can raise money for the cause. Just remember, “The Mustache is more in the heart than on the face.”
Q. I want to do it, but I’m scared.
A. Technically, that is not a question, but we will respond nonetheless. We suggest you step up to the plate. It’s time to overcome your fears and grow a Mustache for a good cause. Remember, there’s no “I” in “Mustache” but there is one in “Lip Rug”. Look to the stache!
Q. What will I tell my friends/co-workers/loved ones/employers who object to my Mustache and ridicule me for it?
A. Do what we do. Fix them with a steely gaze and tell them the truth: “It’s for the kids.” Then ask them to make a donation.
Q. Why Mustaches? Why the silly name?
A. This is not your typical fundraising organization. We believe in doing good and having a good time doing it. And we like to drink beer.
Q. Are you sure this isn’t a joke?
A. Positive.
Q. Swear?
A. We swear to all that we hold holy that this is not a joke; we need your support. The kids need us!
Q. How do I contact Mustaches for Kids Sacramento?
A. You can visit the web site by going to www.mustachesforkids.org. You can email us directly at info@m4ksacramento.org. Better yet, you can meet us in person at one of our Mustache Checkpoints. We’re very handsome and we give good hugs.